The turbulent Sea

 

Journalism is a career full of challenges and hard work. For those whose life and heart revolves around news and camera, journalism is like oxygen for survival.

Similarly for me, those days of media life is like a treasure box, of which I don’t want to loose a single jewel.

This story of fisherman’s of Chennai lies close to my heart. As i actually faced all the challenges they come face to face with.

person throwing fish net while standing on boat
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To begin with I remember it took me so much of running behind the boss to get his permission to go for the story. Then finally when I got permission from office, it took me days to get approval from fisherman authority to shoot with fisherman for a whole day, that too in the sea. The reason the authority where reluctant on not allowing me was being a women journalist. The reason might sound dumb but yes this was the reason! I somehow got the permission after pleading in there office for 15 days.

Then came the day of shoot. It was around second week of February 2016. Me and my video journalist started our day with their village, which went off well. Families of fisherman where loving and caring. Though we didn’t understood each other’s language but yet they showed love in every possible way. We got to learn about ritual the family do before sending the male members of the family in the sea. Sadly, we came to know
that many of the family members who went happily in the sea, never came back. So the family believes in worshiping the sea to take care of the people.

Though we learned about so many rituals but didn’t realized it’s importance until we faced the tough situation in the sea the next day.

Finally, the day went well in the village and we were back to hotel with the excitement to face the real challenge tomorrow in the sea.

Next day, before the dawn we were all set for the big and the most awaited day. We reached the harbour around 3 and it took the fishermen almost 3 hours in preparation before we could actually start sailing. We started our journey around 6 in the morning. The morning sun, sea and the ship. Everything seemed peaceful and calm when we bid bon-voyage to the shore. We started shooting and everything was going good other than the turbulence we where facing. It was actually very difficult for the camera person to take steady shots and difficult for me to keep my self safe and happy with the mic in my hand, standing on the edge of the ship.

There was no time to re-shoot so I had to be perfect in what ever I say and do. Somehow, we managed it well.

But, everything was not as smooth as it seemed. My video journalist started feeling sick, that may be because sea-sickness. He was unable to stand for almost two hours. Facing the situation, i somehow managed to handle camera and mic both (thanks to the photography classes back in college!).

After almost two hours, my camera person took charge of shooting again. We started our shoot, throwing net, catching fish, cooking fish on the ship, relishing the taste of the freshly caught fish. Everything went well and before it’s too late we decided to start our journey back to the shore.

Just 10 minutes later we started facing more turbulence. It was rough and was thrilled. Fishermen looked relaxed initially but tension took over their face as the tempestuous waves were not stopping.

There were no storm alert notice from government, none from authority. Everyone was worried. There was a time when there was all silence on the ship and it seemed only the Stormy waves where shouting and hating our presence there.

The waves where so high that we were never on our place. Wave made us jump high and higher. I was praying, my mom and dad’s face flashed infront of me. I recalled playing joyfully with my sister’s. Every negative feeling came to my mind. I thought I am never going to meet my family again.

But we survived…

The storm was there for almost 45 mins after which it was again a peaceful way back to shore.

It may be a matter of everyday for fisherman but for me it was the very first experience. Storm without alert took a toll on me and I got scared like hell.

Today, I am happy that I took the challenge, I faced the situation that has added more positivity in me. Today, I am more sensitive toward fisherman and all those who keep their life on stake to earn the bread.

Life is not easy, so every time you find yourself in difficult situation, remember there are many other who are actually keeping their life on stake to survive.

Watch the video,

*In the video you will not find out how much difficulty we faced. I remained calm throughout the shoot.

*Journalism is tough than it seems.

*Courtesy- Zee media

Lovingly Me !

woman standing on flower field and raising her both hands
Photo by Renato Abati on Pexels.com

“On the way of life i met you as a stranger… but your warmth and affection has touched my heart so deeply that you have become an inseparable part of my life… you are the one with whom i am free to share all my joy and sorrow… with you i am my true self… ”

–these were the lines on a greeting card i read long back when i was in school (some 18 years back)… these lines touched my heart so deeply that i read and read it again… till i engraved it in my mind… and from then i started looking for someone perfect to say these words…

Never realizing, that someone may be within me… it took me 18-20 long years to finally realize that these lines where meant for me… i am the inseparable part of me… my true self is within me…

Well, coming to the point. I have finally found the self love… I have found that, Life is a voyage of self discovery. To me, to be enlightened is to go within and to know who and what we really are, and to know what ability we have to change for the better by loving and taking care of ourselves.

unfortunately, i always kept a condition before loving myself, like, i will love myself the day i will look beautiful, the day i will loose weight, the day i will get a good job, the day i will get the raise, as silly as the day i will cook good… but believe me “the Day” never came…

Finally, i started loving myself the way i am. I may not be good for everyone, i may not be very soft spoken, my straight forwardness might hurt people, some may not like my cooking, some may hate my figure and my look, some may dislike my professional genre… some may even dislike my way of writing but WHO CARES!!! When i have myself to love me, to admire me.

person doing thumbs up
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Be selfish in loving you!
Despite all the things that you think may be terribly wrong with you, love yourself. Love yourself. Tattoo it on your brain. And not just in the superficial sense of self-love, like exercising regularly and watching less TV. It is time to really, fully and wholly love yourself top to bottom, inside and out. This is what i am doing today.

Choice is yours–
Every day, we are choosing. We may not choose our circumstances, but we choose how we react. In fact, the only thing truly within our control is ourselves and our choices. that’s all we have.

So even when other people hurt us, when our pain is the direct result of someone else’s choices, the choice is still ours whether we let that pain suffocate us, or if we let it go. Move on. Forgive.

For far too long, I felt the pain and emotional bruising from distant moments. Just for instance, i was a kid cricket player and every time i was kept as extra in team, every time i was sent with water for players, i get embarrassed… i felt hurt. Never realizing then that my day will also come.

I grew up, faced my such moment and gradually became pessimist. For far too long, I held onto resentment, blaming others for my choices. I should have long-since forgiven as sharply as if they had just happened yesterday.

10 year challenge–
Take a challenge today: Take a picture of your face and remember that in 10 years time you will be amazed at how gorgeous you were… So be amazed now… do not wait for future.

wood light creative space
Photo by Miguel Á. Padriñán on Pexels.com

Be good to yourself, do things that inspires you–
Make a list. Grab your notepad or even your mobile phone and make a list of things you can do today to make you feel good. Keep adding to the list. Forgive yourself if you skip a couple and love yourself no matter how long or short the list is and how much you accomplish on it.

You will not be graded or tested on this list!

My list involves a lot of laughing. My “Feel Good” list also has: my Kathak practice, field reporting from terrorist camps 😛 , a long leisurely dinner with my other half (wont write better half!), staying up all night reading a book I cannot put down, playing with my little bundle of joy whole day long, leisure trip to Goa with my husband with nothing to do than just sitting on the beach, sleeping on my mommies lap the whole night, discussing all nonsense with my best buddy, buying everything and anything for my little love, having a tea on any high-way dhaba, long trip with whole and extended family (everyone in jolly mood) and the list goes on. The list might be hilarious but these is the feel good factor for me.

girl riding bike in the middle of the road during day
Photo by Luizmedeirosph on Pexels.com

Do something every single day that makes you feel good, whether it is changing your thought patterns or taking a bath for hours. Maybe it’s getting an extra hour of sleep or staying up late and watching Shahrukh movie for the 50th time. Just do it.

Am i in love with me?
That’s not to say that life is fine and dandy as a result or that I don’t still experience deep pain. I endure bouts of crushing self-doubt very often. I torment myself with “what ifs” that have no right to take up head space.

I am still on the path to loving myself and to knowing and living my truth. I can say in all honesty that I love myself now more than ever, and I know I will come to love myself more deeply in the future.

What’s most important, however, is to remember “i am not perfect but i am enough”

note *You may not like my writing but that’s your choice, i am loving it entirely.